Sex Pool
by robert3A-SN
Summary: The study group realizes that Jeff and Annie getting together is inevitable. So instead of objecting or trying to stop it, they wind up betting on where they'll break down and have sex for the first time – then they each try to manipulate the outcome in their favor. Now complete.
1. Chapter 1

"It's really going to happen, isn't it? Those two, I mean."

Britta finally realized this out loud, as she and the group saw Jeff and Annie leave the study room one November morning, for one of their private adventures.

"It's interesting," Abed started. "There's something undeniably off about life in Greendale since September. But with Jeff and Annie getting closer, the hope is we'll get too swept up in them finally coming together to notice. It's a rather cynical way to pay off years of waiting. But I suppose it's the best we can get, under the unpleasant circumstances."

"Was any of that an answer to Britta's question? That's all we really needed, you know," Shirley pointed out.

"Hmm. It appears complex satire really is less appreciated now. Even the fact that Jeff and Annie will happen soon doesn't hide all of that. But the simple and less innovative answer to your question is yes," Abed revealed.

"At least _that's _simple!" Shirley voiced. "Why didn't this happen last year, when I knew it was sinful and wrong! But _now_….I guess they've been wearing us down over time." Britta even nodded her agreement with Shirley, which really drove it home.

"Yep, it's happening, all right," Pierce even realized. "Now the only question is where they're going to bang first."

"Ooh, ooh I got this!" Troy vowed, but stopped instead of answering. "No, Annie hates that place. Wait, wait…..no, Jeff couldn't use his cell phone there. Come on, brain, you made me punch the TV on Kickpuncher 6 night, so you owe me one!"

"Well, it shouldn't waste it answering a gross Pierce question!" Britta objected.

"What? This is a _good _gross Pierce question!" Pierce insisted. "Jeff's been trying not to make Annie his beard for years! But he can't do it anymore, because pretending he doesn't want to pretend to love sex with Annie hurts too much! Who can blame him, really? Once he finally admits he wants Annie to pretend to be with him, he won't wait to be let down by straight sex for one more second!"

The group enacted their usual silence over Pierce's gross, homophobic ranting – but not entirely out of disgust.

In fact, Troy even said, "Brain, you just said that a _Pierce _argument made sense, other than the gay parts! If this is you warning me that the world's going to end next month…..message received, buddy!" He shook in fear, but then said, "Oh, and _that's _your next best idea for where they're going to have sex? Even with the world ending?"

"The world's not going to end because Pierce is kind of right! I think…." Shirley said unconvincingly. "But as wrong as it still is in some ways…..once Jeff and Annie finally get together, they'll probably sin it up big time."

"And on the study table right off the bat," Britta lamented.

"Okay,_ now_ who's gross and sick?" Pierce complained. "Their first time's going to be in the Dean's office! Jeff's new at straight sex, so he'll do it where one of his own kind lives first! Then he'll do it in Britta's house, Fat Neil's dungeon and Vicki's dragon cave in Hell to get the hang of it!"

"Just when I think you can't get any more delusional," Britta complained. "It'll be on the study table because that's where Jeff banged me, and he'll have to one up it with Annie! See what happens when you use your brain, buddy?"

"I don't want to listen to your demon brains!" Shirley objected. "This is a sick argument about something I'm still not that comfortable with!" Yet after a pause, she continued with, "But if Jeff and Annie defied God by having their first premarital sex in _bed_, where it's _romantic_, they could be up for Hell parole in 500 years. Hell, then _I'd_ be a character witness for them from Heaven…..at least in the second parole hearing."

"Well, it's going to be in a gay office, so you can clear your schedule!" Pierce insisted.

"Oh my God, your denial is worse than Jeff's! How else does study room table _not _make sense to you?" Britta complained.

"Lots of ways!" Shirley answered for Pierce. "If Jeff's really better for Annie now, he's got to do it in a bed, the way God intended! He's got to follow Him in _one _way _once _in his life, it might as well be this one!"

"BROOM CLOSET!" Troy suddenly yelled. "That's all I got, I don't know why! Just put me down for broom closet so I can't debate my brain anymore! Oh, yeah right, brain, like you _don't_ knowwhy!"

"Why don't we ignore that forever?" Britta tried to make Troy stop, then turned to Abed. "Abed, you're a computer….is what lazier psych majors than myself would say! Go on, show them up and tell us where Jeff and Annie are doing it first!"

"Oh no, you're not Britta'ing this! He doesn't get to ruin this bet, and neither do you!" Pierce voiced. "Don't worry, A-bed, you don't have to give away that it's in the Dean's office _yet_! Not until I get to win money off it!"

"Right, like this needed to get any dirtier. I still have a soul left somehow, so I'm out of here," Shirley prepared to go.

"Fine. But once all of us _except _A-bed pony up 50 bucks, I'll have a cool $200 for being right," Pierce bragged.

Shirley froze halfway through getting up and asked, "So if they do it in bed, they have a better shot at Heaven, you lose 200 bucks _and _I win 200 myself?" With that, she sat right back down. "Maybe there's room for two holy trinities after all!"

"Hold on, we're really serious about this? Starting some kind of _sex pool _on where they do it?" Britta clarified.

"You said it yourself, there's no stopping them from getting together. And complaining about it isn't as fun as it would have been two years ago. So if we can't stop them, one of us, i.e. me, should at least profit from it! When they do it in another gay guy's office!" Pierce unsubtly pronounced.

"Unless he has a bed in there, that ain't happening! Jeff and Annie still have _some _of their souls left, and they'll prove it and get me rich all at once!" Shirley declared.

"Broom closet! I have no idea why, but I'm not crawling back to my brain for another answer, so there!" Troy announced.

"You guys…." Britta started, making the group ready to groan at another buzz kill Britta rant. But instead, she yelled, "That much money and you _still _don't come to your senses? Fine, then you won't mind putting _100 bucks _in there with me! That's _400_ for me once they do it right in here! Boob-ya! Because Jeff's getting boobs right in this room, for the second time!" With that, Britta stopped and corrected, "But my 400 bucks is the part to remember there…."

"Do you all have a spare 100 dollars to put in?" Abed nitpicked.

"What do you care, you can't join because you know the answer!" Shirley noted. "But don't tell them I'm right until it happens. Let's be merciful and let them live in fairy tale land for a _little_ while, okay?"

"Oh, there's way too many ways to take religion down on that one!" Britta cheered. "But I'm too busy thinking about my 400 bucks and about all of you being wrong. I guess money_ does _change people."

"Oh yeah? Well when I win that money, I'm not changing a damn thing about myself! So I'm double winning!" Pierce promised. "And Jeff wins by staying in the closet and doing it near gay stuff, so that's a three way of winning!"

"And we don't need to make it _any _more official than that!" Britta mercifully stopped Pierce. "We have a study group bet! It'll be the most lopsided bet ever, but it still counts!"

"Huzzah!" Troy exclaimed, although no one else went that far in celebrating.

Later that afternoon, Abed found Troy pressing his ear against a closed broom closet door. "I thought we were starting our daring all blorgon version of Inspector Spacetime now," Abed questioned.

"After Jeff and Annie make sex noises, okay?" Troy whispered after he led Abed away. "I told them I lost my new lucky bottle cap in there."

"But you have a lucky torn soda bottle label, not a lucky bottle cap," Abed reminded.

"You think I would put _that _in danger for a bet? What kind of monster do you think I am?" Troy harshly whispered. "Anyway, once they can't find any bottle caps in there, they'll put off telling me and making me cry by boning, and then I'll win the money! I know I'm cheating, _I know,_ but that 400 dollars can pay for so many cool things! Like a-"

"They don't have sex for the first time in a broom closet," Abed deflated Troy's hopes.

In response, Troy's lip quivered and he cried out a little louder, "You couldn't let me dream about buying a LeVar Burton mannequin a _little_ while longer? How cruel _are _you, Abed?"

"Technically, I'm not supposed to tell_ anyone _that their theory is wrong. But I had to tell you because you're my best friend, and it'd be easier to hear from me. I hope," Abed expressed.

"Yeah, I guess you're right," Troy admitted as he wiped his nose. "This is really my brain's fault, anyway. Well, it knows how bad it screwed up, so I should let it turn itself off in shame." After a pause in which he actually seemed to be doing this, Troy snapped out of it and asked, "All blorgon Inspector Spacetime?"

"Cool cool cool. Perhaps mind-blowing originality isn't dead in Greendale after all," Abed announced, doing his handshake with Troy before they headed off together.

But with Troy's brain officially off, he forgot that he left Jeff and Annie in the broom closet, searching for a bottle cap that wasn't there.

"If I wasn't actually doing stuff in a broom closet with my clothes on, I'd find this very funny," Jeff voiced, then went on before Annie focused on the first part. "You Disney faced me to help you with this quest for the magic bottle cap. But Troy cried and guilted _you_ into doing this first! There's some hilarious irony there somewhere."

"First of all, it's a _lucky _bottle cap, not magic!" Annie nitpicked. "Second, he only came _close _to crying before I agreed, so there! Third, I have to _live _with him, so it's not like I could ignore his crying forever! Better to get it out of the way now, right?"

"If that's the inaccurate word you're going with," Jeff shrugged, then stated the next thought that popped into his head. "Do you ever stop and think, 'Wow. I thought _that guy_ was my _soul mate _in high school'?"

"Probably no more than you say 'Wow, I was into _that _for two years' when you look at Britta," Annie responded, then quickly backtracked. "Not that you're right to think that! Or that you even do!"

"No, no, original point taken," Jeff left Annie off the hook. "But aside from epic bottle cap searches, it worked out well for you anyway. You got to live with Troy after all, and you wouldn't have met us if you didn't follow him into the group. So wins all around, I guess."

"I could see it that way, couldn't I?" Annie realized. "Just like you could see how things with Britta worked too. It's nice to be friends with someone you used to have sex with, isn't it? Not that I would know, I mean, I know _that_!" she got sidetracked before carrying on.

"I mean, you used to throw away women you liked, or who liked you. Now you can be friends with them, even with all that history. I like that I can do that with Troy, and I know you like it with Britta and m…." Annie stopped, unable to cover up that she almost said 'me.'

"You dragged me into a closet to look for a bottle cap, so I _should _let you squirm," Jeff stated. "But against all odds, I'm feeling merciful. God, being friends with exes _has _changed me."

"More evolved, maybe," Annie felt relieved enough to mention. "I can appreciate that. I mean, I was a crazy schoolgirl nightmare around….guys I liked for a while. I'm glad I evolved out of that….I hope. If being real friends with Troy and….other guys helped me do that and grow up some more, I guess it was worth it. At least it helps people take me more seriously."

"They shouldn't need help with that," Jeff suddenly admitted. He didn't leave himself much wiggle room to backtrack, so he made himself explain further.

"Technically, you haven't been a crazy school girl _that _much. Not enough that it should overshadow the….not crazy, really cool stuff about you. That should define you a _hell _of a lot more than those temporary crazy spells. And people who forget that at _any _time are really, really stupid. Trust me, I know these things," Jeff reminded.

"You do, don't you?"Annie understood. Once Jeff registered that, the closet began to feel really cramped.

He started to walk towards Annie to get some room – or something – but then stopped when Annie lit up. This was a very promising sign – towards something – until Jeff saw her beaming at the corner of the closet instead of at him.

"I found it! Jeff, I found it!" Annie cheered, heading to the corner and picking up an actual bottle cap.

"Huh, what do you know?" Jeff tried to sound level. "Is that his actual bottle cap?"

"I don't know, I've never seen it before. But he'll tell us now, right?" Annie predicted, heading to the door and opening it. Yet instead of seeing Troy nearby, Annie saw no one at all waiting for her.

Jeff then saw he was gone and reverted back to being annoyed. "Hold on here. We're doing all this actual work, and he's not even there to take his bottle cap? Or feel guilty about all this?"

"Abed probably dragged him into his all blorgon Inspector Spacetime game," Annie theorized. "Fortunately, I have experience fighting them off. That means we can get past them and give this to Troy in no time. Come on!"

Jeff was amazed that they almost shared another moment, yet it didn't faze Annie as she focused on getting Troy his cap back. It certainly proved she wasn't a love struck school girl anymore –thank God. Yet he was amazed that he thought "Thank God" more because it wasn't who Annie really was – not because it would spare him more of her schoolgirl wrath.

Then he was amazed he actually followed Annie out to find Troy, instead of making up an excuse to leave.

Well, this bottle cap had better be extra lucky for Troy, at least. It certainly had a mixed legacy already.


	2. Chapter 2

Two days after Troy failed to win the bet, Pierce actually had a plausible idea to take it. 400 bucks could have that surprising effect on people.

"The Dean wants me to do what?" Annie questioned after Pierce finished his story.

"Not much, just go in his office, find his closet of costumes and reorganize it. Do that day-planning OCD crap you do. His words!" Pierce insisted. "And he wants you to take Jeff. Now _those _are his words!"

"Well, that _does _sound like him," Annie admitted, turning to Jeff nearby for his thoughts.

"Yeah, but _Pierce _said it, so that means the opposite. Otherwise the world really _will _end next month. And thisbody was not meant to get mangled before _2112_," Jeff declared.

"Let's say I'm right and the world is ending soon. Don't you want to get the annoying crap out of the way first? Then you can do whatever you want in that office! Anything you want to pretend you want!" Pierce threatened to give away too much.

"Well….maybe if we saw the costumes, we'd be less shocked when he wears them. And you'd be more prepared for him to cuddle you in them," Annie rationalized to Jeff.

"Right, _that _would make me more comfy with it," Jeff sighed, then relented. "Well, this might give me more material for that harassment lawsuit next year."

"Great, sue him for not harassing you enough! After you go through his things at 3:30 today, in his office, with his complete permission! No need to think more about that!" Pierce somehow said without exposing himself.

As such, he was free to drag Abed near the Dean's office at about 3:35 that afternoon. By then Jeff and Annie were already in the office – it was just a matter of confirming they did it when they came out. But that's what Abed's computer brain was for.

"Okay, they're probably doing foreplay right now," Pierce explained to Abed. "Once Jeff finally sees Annie's boobs as balls, this will go much faster. Then when they come out, you'll use your A-rab super powers, figure out they had sex, and I win the bet! It's perfect!"

"I admit, it's a good sign you made sure the Dean wasn't in his office at 3:30," Abed voiced.

"I did what now?" Pierce questioned.

"Open Dean-ame!" Dean Pelton announced as he strolled into view, then stopped when he saw Pierce and Abed. "Well, this is a change of pace. What are you two doing here instead of Jeffrey and…..whoever's lucky enough to tag along that day?"

"Oh, just making money, that's all," was the best Pierce had.

"Great, I love tales of the rich and Dean-mous! Once I sit down in my office, I'd love to hear them!" the Dean cheered until Pierce blocked his way to the office.

"No, you can't go in there! Not for another five minutes! Make it 10 to be _really_ generous," Pierce offered.

"Why can't I be generous in my office? Abed, what's this about?" the Dean asked.

"Sorry, I'm not allowed to give away anything in this adventure. They were very clear on that," Abed explained.

"Great, you're in fly on the wall mode and you're….Pierce! Some threesome this is!" Dean Pelton lamented as he tried to head for his office again.

"Then let's make it hotter! Let's hang out, all threesome of us!" Pierce came up with. "Abed, say some TV nonsense about how the three of us never spend time together! And how we should change it right now, for the next 15 minutes! That's a _real _benefit of the doubt right there!"

"Pierce does have one of his five designated points for the first half of the year," Abed told the Dean. "You, me and Pierce are relatively untested together as scene partners. Perhaps pairing us all together for the first time would bring life back into this stagnant season. If only for an episode."

"And these are real words to you guys?" Dean Pelton questioned Pierce.

"Not really, but the part where we leave and have adventures sounds clear enough. It might even make Jeff jealous to see you with _me_," Pierce teased.

"Hmm….well, it _would_ remind him there are people other than Annie in Greendale," the Dean considered. "In that case, let's go have our first subplot together! Or whatever Abed said it was! I'll probably translate him better in my UN outfit, so let me go get that!"

"No!" Pierce objected. "Um, save that for when Jeff comes crawling back to you!"

"Right, of course, what was I thinking?" the Dean realized. "Okay, it's straight to palates, then! He will be so surprised that I brought friends this time!" he celebrated as he walked away.

"Now _that's _how you win a bet," Pierce muttered to Abed. "22 more minutes of this _should _be enough. Then I can be one happy bet winner!"

But a full hour later, Pierce was angrily walking down the hall with Abed following. "If he thinks I'm crawling back to him after _that_, he'd better think again! I don't care that it was mostly Palates' fault, _he's _the one who put him there!"

"I admit, it felt like the good old days at Greendale until that unfortunate twist," Abed backed up.

"Well I never liked the twist! If the Dean can't even like good dances, then what's the point of hanging out with him? On an unrelated note, it'd be nice if you kept my phone away from me for the next month!" Pierce announced.

Before Abed had a response ready, he and Pierce noticed Jeff and Annie walking together nearby. "Ah, right on time! Losing a friend should hurt less with 400 dollars in my pocket!" Pierce anticipated. "I sacrificed _so _much for them, and now-"

"They didn't have sex," Abed revealed. "Jeff's sex pupils are wider than that, and Annie's blushing doesn't match the projections for her afterglow. Whatever they did in there made them happier, but no sex was involved."

"What? What kind of sick, depraved happiness is _that_? Those perverts!" Pierce barely comprehended, marching over to Jeff and Annie before Abed could respond.

When Pierce got to them, he told them, "Seriously? After all I've done for you? Annie, I expected better from you! Jeff, if you want to die a straight virgin, it's no sweat off my balls anymore! Can you Dean with that?" With that, Pierce all but cried as he stormed away from everyone.

"Weirdest….sundowning….ever…even for….him," Jeff drew out.

"Abed, what does he think we did to him this time?" Annie asked when she saw Abed.

"He's just upset that something didn't go his way. Even though it was incredibly obvious it wouldn't," Abed said as truthfully as he could.

"So nothing new, then, good to know," Jeff commented. It was also nothing new to see the Dean march over to him a moment later – but it got new when he focused on Annie instead.

"Annie, I need you to keep my phone for a minute. No more than two weeks, tops. I should be over Pierce by then," Dean Pelton announced as he gave Annie his cell phone.

"_That _may have disturbed me more than anything you've ever said. Think about how historic that is. Better that you think about it than me," Jeff shuddered.

"Jeffrey, I'll use you to make Pierce jealous later, but for now I just want to go home!" the Dean sobbed as he headed off.

"Wait, you don't want to see your closet first?" Annie called out, yet Dean Pelton was long gone by then. "What the hell?"

"Who would have thought his closet would be the _least _weird thing today?" Jeff questioned. This was all he was willing to say about their closet time – in front of Abed, anyway.

_A half hour earlier, Annie was still amazed at all the sights and revealing outfits in the Dean's office closet. But something else amazed her even more. "You know, this is more organized than I thought!" she exclaimed to Jeff. "He just needs to sort this by country, season and celebrity and he'll be much better!"_

"_That's the most relative term for better I've ever heard," Jeff listed. "But like I said, this is good material for the harassment trial."_

"_Oh, you won't really sue him when you're a lawyer again," Annie predicted. "If you were, you'd have done it when he hacked your e-mails last year. But you didn't, because a certain karaoke video would have been admissible as evidence."_

"_I'm sorry, you're going into health care why, exactly?" Jeff deflected._

"_Jeff, I'm serious," Annie went on undeterred. "If you're going to sue him, it won't be because he stalked you. It'll be because when you're a lawyer again, you'll wind up missing him and Greendale. And you'll need some way to see him and this school again without looking like you miss them."_

"_I….repeat my previous question," was all Jeff had._

"_It's okay, Jeff, I get it," Annie assured. "I didn't think I'd miss this place when I got here either. I mean, look at what our Dean is! Someday, I'm not going to work for anyone who has….this stuff hanging around!" she gestured to the closet. "That should make me relieved, but it breaks my heart! I've only got seven months left until all this is gone forever!"_

"_Two months, if you believe Abed's '13 episodes left' theory," Jeff objected._

"_Really, I haven't heard it enough at home? Is that it, Jeff?" Annie snarked. "God, who knows how long I'll have a home like that, too?" she asked more wistfully. "All these things I've come to love….we've come to love….they're going to start going away soon. That even makes stuff like sorting duali-dean clothes special! After this year, we might never do that again!"_

"_I didn't know closets made you this….melancholy," Jeff pointed out._

"_No, this is the first one," Annie tried to joke. "I'm sorry, I know I'm being silly. It's just….there's so many things I came to love that'll be gone soon. And the things I've always wanted and finally have….like friends and family….I don't know how long that'll last after we leave here. I've got to think about that and cherish it all while I can! Then maybe it won't hurt so much….just in case. Maybe."_

_Annie tried to shake it off, but it was too late for Jeff to just ignore her words and message. This made him start to pass on a message of his own._

"_You know, I've been searching for new law firms since the summer trial. There's one I found that's a real dream come true. They have big cases, fast tracks for partnership and great open bars! But when I saw it was in Michigan, I got off their webpage right then," Jeff revealed._

"_Why, do you hate the Lions? Or whatever their baseball team is called?" Annie wondered._

"_No, I did that with every law firm that's more than two hours from you guys," Jeff answered. "I guess that says something, doesn't it?"_

"_It could. But clear it up for me, anyway?" Annie had to be sure._

"_Annie, I'm about to get into rare sentimental mode here. Cherish that while you can, because it doesn't happen often. Usually just around you…." Jeff let out. "See, it's starting already! Anyway, you understand this doesn't leave the room. Or leave whatever cameras the Dean installed when he knew I was coming. Got it?"_

"_Our usual agreement, no problem," Annie conceded._

"_Good," Jeff nodded before getting the sentimental stuff out of the way. "Stuff like our BNL fight, the housewarming party and…..certain incidents with axes….got something through my perfectly conditioned skull. I….need you guys more than you need me. So if I'm not being nostalgic, it's because I know I won't leave you guys behind any time soon. And if I'm not going anywhere, then that means I'm at least one friend/family you won't lose, right?"_

"_Well, the math makes sense…." Annie said while trying to stay level._

"_The point is, I'm new at having people who care about me too," Jeff got back on track. "Since four years isn't long enough to get used to it, I'll need an extra year or two or 10. And if I need that much, you'll need about 15 or 20 or 50! So you'd better get comfortable having the whole friends and family thing after all. I mean, if I have any say in it."_

"_You're making a good case so far," Annie admitted. "Thanks, Jeff…."_

"_As long as it's a private thank you, I'll take it," Jeff drove home again._

"_Jeff, I got it, I won't give away that you care. Besides, you give it away enough already," Annie promised. "But I'd never embarrass you with your private feelings like that!" She then paused and corrected quietly, "I've kind of learned my lesson about it…."_

_Jeff immediately knew she was thinking about "The Annie of it all" a punch in the nose to interrupt a fake wedding – and maybe a Real World tape if she was truly sorry. But the rest wasn't really stuff Annie should be sorry for – as much as Jeff tried to think otherwise. Yet once again, when he felt the sudden need to apologize for all of it, words failed him._

_But this time, he was actually ready with action instead._

_Although it wasn't the huge action Annie deserved – and that Jeff may have wanted to give on some very deep down level – a big hug was a fair compromise._

_At least he hoped so, as he became unsure when Annie didn't hug him back. Hopefully that was just because of the surprise. Yet when Annie soon threw her arms around him, it erased all doubt._

_Jeff hoped this hug said all the apologies he still couldn't say with words yet. Or for that matter, with lips pressed against….certain things. When he started thinking like that, he broke off and said, "Okay, that was way too schmoopy. Even for new me," he admitted._

"_It's okay. The schmoopier you are with me in private, the less likely you'll be schmoopy in public. Works pretty good either way," Annie assured, patting Jeff's arm and getting back to organizing the closet._

_Jeff actually figured he should get to work too. Otherwise he'd think – again – that being schmoopy in public wouldn't be so bad. Not with certain people in public, anyway._

_By comparison, thinking about the Dean in that see through Madonna dress over there wasn't so bad. Kind of._


	3. Chapter 3

Britta couldn't be happier that Pierce was whining about the Dean all week. And not just because the Dean hadn't been groping Jeff right next to her for a while. With Pierce distracted, Britta would now make sure Annie groped Jeff in the study room first and win the bet.

She sped it along by inviting them to study the Friday before Thanksgiving. Convincing Annie wasn't a problem, yet she had to let Jeff skip his next three cat-sitting turns so he'd cave. But with 400 bucks, Britta could buy real cat-sitters to fill in – who wouldn't be too scared of getting claw marks on _their_ suits.

In any case, Britta invited her friends to the study room at 2 pm, and they did arrive on time. But while they were sitting there, Britta was still hiding in the library. Once she texted them that she'd be late – and said some other things – they'd have the green light to bang and make Britta the best in something for once.

"Hey, we called dibs on this place first!" Britta heard Troy yell before she could send the text. She turned in time to see both Troy and Abed coming as Troy finished, "If you want to play book monster in here too, then _maybe _we can talk! You gotta admit, it would make the book monster love scene less awkward."

"Sssh!" Britta hissed quietly. "You can't have sex scenes in here, it'll ruin the sex scene in there!" she whispered and pointed at the study room.

"No, we cut out the chair monster sex scene for time!" Troy insisted, before seeing Jeff and Annie in the study room. "Wait, did you warn Jeff and Annie there'd be sex stuff in there?"

"Actually, it looks like Britta's setting up Jeff and Annie to have sex, thus winning the bet," Abed finally chimed in.

"Surprised you couldn't say that before the chair monster stuff. But sure, thanks for clearing it up," Britta quipped. "They'll probably do it a few minutes after I send my text. You can watch the first minute with me to confirm I won the bet, but after that, we all have to go!"

"What text? There are texts that make people have sex and I wasn't told? Damn it, if Pierce wasn't so heartbroken over the Dean, he might have told us first!" Troy lamented. "I want to see the sex text!"

"Sssh!_ They're_ supposed to be noisy near a library, not you!" Britta whispered. "Fine, just speed read quietly," she gave in and handed Troy her phone.

"Hey, gonna be late," Troy read the text out loud. "Be there in 20 minutes. Or as Jeff would say, long enough for two quickies in the study room. Am I right? You know I am! LMFAO." Troy paused, then reviewed, "You mentioned the greatest band since BNL at the end of _that_?"

"Hey, _no one's_ the new BNL, so enough with the blasphemy!" Britta whispered harshly without a trace of irony. "Second, this is perfect! Jeff will feel guilty about having sex with me, then do it to Annie to prove it meant nothing! Or Annie will get jealous and have her way with Jeff to make him forget about me! Either way, I win!" she cheered as she sent the text.

"Wait a minute, what if they get angry and jealous and have a huge fight? _Without _makeup sex?" Troy pointed out. "Trust me, my brain's getting better at knowing this stuff! Losing this bet may have been the wakeup call it needed."

"Good, then it won't be too tired to hand over my money," Britta declared. "Besides, Annie's made Jeff too _evolved_ to fight like that now, remember? Apparently it _can_ be done after all."

"Ah, you're going down the old 'jealous of Jeff and Annie' plotline after all. I wish it didn't have to be that obvious, but such is life in Season Four," Abed stated.

"Enough with the Season Four crap!" Britta demanded. "And even if this was Season _44_, I still wouldn't want Jeff! Why would I want that cocky, arrogant jackass anymore? I mean, he only stops being those things around _her_! At least _one of us _has that gift!" she let out before looking more visibly depressed.

"Hmm. You're still my psychiatrist, yet _I'm_ bringing out _your _deep seated issues instead," Abed pointed out. "Yes, I can dabble in that cliché. It does have a satisfactory Season Three vibe. Continue, Britta," he suggested.

Without any better ideas, Britta did keep going. "I've tried since day one to help you people be better. To do things like care more, face your demons, embrace the end of government, that sort of stuff! But Annie just _breezes _in and makes people happier than I ever could. Especially with Jeff…." she let linger.

"You _wanted_ to make Jeff happier?" Abed asked in fake psychiatrist mode.

"No, but it would have been nice to have that power! I don't and she does!" Britta laid out. "And I get it, I do! She _does _make people better….I mean, I never liked pretending I had a little sis until I met her. And she makes Jeff better too, I know that!"

Britta paused, then made herself continue with, "I was just some stepping stone for Jeff before he could get it right with her! He had to get past me before _Annie_ made him happy. Just like you guys had to get past me before _she _became the _real _heart of the group. It just sucks knowing that sometimes, you know?"

Troy looked ready to object, but Abed stopped by saying, "Troy, don't interrupt my fake patient's breakthrough quite yet. Continue, Britta. You're in a safe place. How does that make you feel? Random psych catchphrase."

"You're getting the catchphrases wrong. But we'll dive into that in our next session," Britta conceded. "Anyway….maybe _I _just wanted to be the one who made _them_ happier for once. Even by making them bang in the study room. It'd make them feel better, _and _make me look good for rising above….our _history_. And I could at least get paid for my work!"

"But it also reinforced your perceived inferiority to Annie, and her connection with Jeff." Abed stated. "You got to convince yourself you made others better after all, while still feeling just as inferior about yourself deep down. That's why you thought there was no other way this could happen." He then paused in realization and revealed, "Well, that is quite in character for you. Maybe this season _is _keeping some old quirky traditions alive."

"Okay, can I be a rebuttal shrink now?" Troy finally interrupted.

"You didn't laugh at the word butt. This may be a big moment indeed. Continue, Troy. Freud would agree with me. I'm sorry, I don't know Frasier Crane," Abed capped off his latest psychiatrist catchphrases as Troy got over to Britta.

"Britta, so what if you're a stepping stone? The giant ball in Raiders was a stone, and look how big he got! Even BNL isn't that big! Yeah, I said it!" Troy then backtracked from his temporary insanity and got back on track. "Anyway,_ Jeff's_ never had a stepping stone! No one ever made him good and ready enough to fall in love before he met you! That's gotta be something big, right? Besides, you're a better stepping stone for him than I ever was for Annie!"

"I thought Annie's last stepping stone before Jeff was Vaughn. Or at least Rich," Britta nitpicked.

"Let's just say they never existed for now, okay?" Troy corrected.

"Well, I know I'm good at pretending Vaughn never existed," Britta admitted. "I can take or leave Rich too."

"Good, he's left, then," Troy finalized. "The point is, you already made their lives way better before now! If he didn't tell you he had a study group just to hook up with you, Jeff wouldn't have _met _Annie! And Annie wouldn't have met Jeff if you didn't call his bluff and get us together! You made _everyone's _life better by doing that! Her, him, especially me, everyone!"

"Huh….I guess it is nuts of me to forget that," Britta realized.

"See? They never _could _have gotten together if they never met you! So they've been making each other better people because of you, too! That makes you the best stepping stone ever!" Troy declared, before hesitating with his final point. "Plus I never had a stepping stone before I started liking you, but I like you anyway. Does that count for anything?"

"If I betrayed the sisterhood and let a man define my worth, yeah," Britta objected. "But as far as betrayals go…..there could be worse," she backed down and let herself smile at Troy.

"Just so you know, your fake bill still goes to me although Troy cured you," Abed interjected. "But we can work out the payments later. Now that you're better and we can't play book monster in here, we have to play something else."

"Ooh, we can go outside and play bush monster! Like the bushes are coming alive to get revenge on mankind! Britta, you know all about bushes, you can tell us how to beat them off!" Troy offered.

"God, you are _so _lucky you're not Pierce," she groaned.

"Ha, my brain already knew that, it _is _getting better! I should fail to make people have sex more often!" Troy declared.

Britta shook this off and brought herself to admit, "You know, I _would _be doing good for Mother Nature too, if I made sure you had great bush monsters. We can start by taking out the 'monster' name for one thing. Now lumberjack human monsters, _that _has a ring to it! You two can't play those because you're not white, so we'll probably need to borrow Leonard!"

Despite Troy and Abed's reluctance, they let Britta have this one as she headed away from the library – and didn't give another glance at Jeff and Annie. She didn't think about them for the next hour, as she was too busy collaborating with Troy and Abed outside – and enduring exhausting casting calls for the bushes.

But after they agreed on what bush would be second-in-command of the bush freedom fighter army – Britta's words – Britta finally noticed Jeff and Annie walking down the quad together.

"Ah, they must be done 'studying'," Britta observed. "Not that it's so important to me anymore. But it's still nice to know that they're-"

"They didn't have sex," Abed deflated again. "If they did, Annie would look more nervous to be out in public. And Jeff would be working too hard not to look nervous either. They haven't been fighting like Troy feared, but they still haven't had sex yet, either."

"Oh come on, really?" Britta groaned. "Damn it, pretending not to care should have worked! Reverse psychiatry's _supposed_ to work for psych majors, it's psych law!"

"Well, at least it doesn't make you look better or worse, remember?" Troy pointedly asked.

"Yeah yeah, I made them better already, I'm not just a stepping stone, I _got_ that!" Britta assured. "But I wanted to learn life lessons _and _win! Get cat sitters, group bragging rights, the _right _bush cast as the bush general! I can't have all that today too? Oh, and them getting together, I guess," she added offhandedly.

But eventually, Britta, Troy and Abed did focus on weirder, envelope pushing material than what Jeff and Annie actually did in the study room.

_Once Britta sent her text to both Jeff and Annie, Annie rolled her eyes and groaned. "Can you believe that? Late for her own study session! And she references the next BNL to make it look better! Even LMFAO themselves would hate that plug!"_

"_What the HELL is she thinking?" Jeff called out – with his anger less in control than Annie's. If anything, Annie thought this would make Jeff happy. Now he could weasel his way out of studying, and probably get three extra cat-sitting days off. Instead, he just looked angry._

"_Jeff, what's wrong?" Annie checked. Even more astonishingly, Jeff looked a bit nervous to glance at her._

"_You don't know?" he asked. But when Annie shook her head no, Jeff appeared more relieved. "Huh. Well, on second thought, I can't remember either."_

_Annie knew Jeff forgot things when he was zoning out and trying not to pay attention. But he clearly had his full attention on that text – and his full anger, for some reason. Britta being late wasn't the reason, so what was it?_

_Yet once Annie actually read what Britta wrote, it was clearer to her._

_It was really weird of Britta to reference her past…..benefits with Jeff in a text for him and Annie. Kind of oblivious, really. Yet obliviousness was fairly common for Britta – albeit not usually like that. But if anyone should be annoyed by it, it should be Annie, not Jeff. So why was Jeff the angry one?_

_One answer came to mind. One answer did explain why Jeff would hate having his Britta past mentioned in front of Annie. But it was an outlandish theory._

_In theory._

"_Jeff?" Annie started. "I know what's wrong now." Once Jeff deflated a bit and looked at his textbook, Annie knew she was on the right track._

"_You don't have to be mad because you think I am!" she continued. "Your thing with her was a long time ago. Things have changed….we've changed. It's not an issue anymore."_

"_I did all that with her while I was…..going through things with you. And she just had to remind me now," Jeff muttered. Annie waited for him to elaborate – since waiting for apologies hadn't paid off in the past. But as usual, he had nothing like that to say – yet his silence looked guiltier than usual._

"_Jeff…." Annie bought time before she worked out what she had to say. When she figured it out, she started, "You were after her for an entire year. Of course that wasn't just going to go away. Maybe you needed that…..extra year to know for sure what you two were. Now you know you're friends, and you've been really good ones lately! I guess that makes it worth it in a way."_

"_In one way," was all Jeff conceded._

"_In enough ways, Jeff. Enough that it shouldn't ruin what we all have now," Annie promised._

"_Sounds like you're just letting me off the hook," Jeff got out. "You can't…..do that all the time. You shouldn't….."_

"_Shouldn't I be the judge of that, Jeff?" Annie challenged. "I'm supposed to be the smart, moral one in the group, remember? Then that should mean I know better than you on what to forgive. Or to just let go. Or to realize that a few….bad decisions don't cancel out all the good ones. And there are many more good ones, Jeff."_

"_Maybe for now. At least until the next bad decision," Jeff countered._

"_Then you'll do more good ones to cancel that out and I'll forgive you! Not because I'm letting you off the hook! Have I ever REALLY let you off the hook on that stuff, Jeff? Think about it!" Annie insisted, then Jeff chuckled when he remembered how she made him pay for bad decisions – then forgave him anyway._

"_Jeff, if I cared so much about the past, do you think I'd even be friends with a fake lawyer in the first place! With my rotten past, I can't really judge anyone for screw ups, you know! I just judge how they make up for them! And you do it better than anyone I've ever met," she revealed._

_Jeff looked a bit uncomfortable at receiving praise like that, as always. Yet Annie wanted him to stay uncomfy a while longer. "That's all I care about, Jeff. And that's why stuff like you screwing around with Britta doesn't matter anymore. But all the great stuff you've done since then does," she reassured._

"_Except say I'm sorry. I….never got around to that, did I? Not with you," Jeff recalled._

"_Jeff, we weren't together then and we're not together now. By those standards, you did nothing wrong. You just….didn't let me find out in the right way, that's all. And that made me….try to embarrass you in ways I shouldn't have. That's all that went wrong," Annie rationalized._

"_Then I'm sorry you didn't find out the right way. And for not handling my embarrassment the right way. At all," Jeff finally admitted._

"_Are you going to do that stuff again?" Annie challenged._

"_Troy would sic Abed and his blorgons on me if I went for Britta now, so no," Jeff tried to rely on sarcasm again. But eventually, he went back to sincerity and added on, "And making you upset wouldn't be good either. Neither would….denying things I shouldn't deny."_

"_Hmm. Then you've learned your lesson, and I can forgive you," Annie promised. "So the past is just the past now. Maybe that's a good way to live in the future too."_

"_That's….a new way to think about it," Jeff stated, as it certainly looked new to him._

_Annie hoped she was clear enough for him to get it, since she didn't understand it all herself. She got the part about forgiving Jeff for the past – but why did she bring up the future at the end? Was it just to help Jeff deal with future stuff, or to help him deal with THEM in the future? If there even was a them?_

_Or if she even wanted a them – which was easier to deny several months ago. Or even a few weeks ago, for that matter._

_Maybe this wasn't something to think about in a private study session with Jeff. Particularly one where Britta probably wouldn't show up. "Speaking of the future, I doubt it has Britta studying with us after all," Annie resigned. "I guess that lets us off the hook," she announced as she got up to leave._

"_Wait!" Jeff called out, forcing Annie to turn back. Her nerves nearly got away from her as she waited for him to say more, although he was still quiet. But before she got more paranoid or hopeful, Jeff finally said the words, "Teach me to read!" in a melodramatic – and familiar – fashion while holding his textbook._

_After she remembered where Jeff got this from, Annie paused – then laughed uncontrollably. It didn't take long for Jeff to join in as well, although this was his joke. "How the hell did you remember my Halloween story now?" Annie got out between her laughs._

"_I couldn't resist, you left it wide open for me!" Jeff exclaimed. After he stopped laughing a little, he further explained. "You paid me back good for being a monster in that story. I guess it reminds me how well you pay me back in real life too. And in reality, you stop just short of digesting my eyeballs. That's what makes real life better, I think."_

"_It has its moments. Having werewolf powers in real life would be awesome, though," Annie theorized as she sat back down. "I'd have to move away from Troy and Abed, though. Either I'd eat them, or they'd put me in so many werewolf movies that I wouldn't JUST eat them."_

"_And that's why I'm too scared to piss you off again. Among other things," Jeff disclosed. "Seriously, though, I set aside an hour to do this. On a Friday. So we might as well get five minutes of studying in. Then we can blow off the next half hour with a clear conscience. And a better chance of passing English."_

"_Aw, look at you care about those things now. You should be proud of how much I changed you!" Annie echoed from her story, but then corrected. "Not that it's why I do things with you! I like you the way you are – I mean, I….like you! Heh, had it right the first time," she nervously brushed aside._

"_I'm sure that's brand new for you," Jeff thickly laid on the sarcasm. But at least that was all he was doing because of Annie's words. It was….a dodged bullet, really. He then continued with, "That's why you'll make a good five-minute tutor for me. Then we can take a 30 minute study break, then we're done!"_

_Annie agreed with that, as studying and tutoring did help her calm her nerves. Then they wound up actually studying for a few extra minutes. Then their study break went a few minutes past schedule as well._

_As they walked outside after all that studying, banter and laughter, Annie wondered why Jeff made her nervous at all. In times like this – which were a lot more frequent lately – no one ever made her feel better._

_Whether she was ready to risk feeling even better with him again was another matter. Even if it was more likely now that it would pay off – presumably._

_Well, at least Troy and Abed were playing with bushes outside…..with Britta. But hearing about this at home – and yelling at Britta later for ditching her and Jeff – figured to keep Annie's mind off Jeff tonight. At least before bedtime._


	4. Chapter 4

Shirley rationalized she earned a Mulligan from God.

Maybe her Mulligan was the Big Cheddar years, but not making anyone else pee for 20 years wiped that clean. Good behavior for the next 40 years should cancel out letting Jeff and Annie have pre-marital sex on Thanksgiving.

Once Shirley made herself okay with it, the next step was getting Jeff to host Thanksgiving dinner. So she came over on Saturday, endured Jeff's complaints about being up at 1 p.m., and laid out that he should host the group's Thanksgiving this year. The official reason was that this was their last year at Greendale, and this Thanksgiving should be hosted by the man who led them this far together. It was why they would all sleep over together on Thanksgiving night as well.

The unofficial reason was Jeff and Annie had to sleep in the same bed, before Pierce and Britta made them get naked in sinful public places. But Jeff didn't have to know that. The official reason wasn't convincing him, however.

So Shirley used a different tactic; namely, combining her motherly guilt with her detailed memories of Jeff's trip to Tinkle Town. Memories she could let slip to the group during Thanksgiving dinner – yet it'd be harder to do that if she wasn't at home. With that, Jeff immediately wanted to make it harder.

Annie had her means of using guilt and hardball on Jeff, and Shirley had hers. But they both did it for Jeff's own good, even if his own good here was a gray area. Yet Shirley's way of getting them together was the only one that gave their souls a fighting chance. So she told herself.

If she didn't get them to start their relationship with romantic bed sex, the others would make them doom their souls with office sex, or sick study room sex. For that, she could endure them having sex while she slept in Jeff's living room on Thanksgiving night. She'd either be asleep or listening to hymns on her headphones anyway, so that worked out too.

With all that sacrifice, this _had _to work! If it didn't, maybe God needed the Mulligan! But there was no need to use her blasphemy Mulligans yet.

Instead, she spent the next week doing her usual Thanksgiving preparations at home, before she would move everything to Jeff's apartment Thanksgiving morning. Once she got set up, the group, Andre and the kids would come over and stay out of Shirley's way. Jeff's barely adequate kitchen was enough to deal with, all things considered.

But somehow, she used the tools she had to set up a great dinner – and Jeff's rants about his apartment getting messed up weren't too loud. Annie helped keep the kids from touching too much or getting in Jeff's closet, so that had to help the cause. Yet the toast was bound to help a lot more.

Since Jeff didn't have 10 people over for dinner too often, the group helped Shirley bring her dinner table to his apartment last night. As ugly as that got – and as much as Troy, Abed and Britta talked about table monsters for some reason – everyone was now sitting around the table as if nothing had happened. Once everyone was settled and the food was done, Shirley rose up for her big speech.

"I'd like to thank you all for coming, and to thank Jeff for hosting this unique Thanksgiving dinner," Shirley began. "I know Jeff didn't want us to be here at first. But no matter how much we messed up his apartment, or how much we put his suits in danger, I know he's glad we're here now. Just like the rest of us." Jeff kept a blank face, yet Shirley knew it was the fakest blank face he had – and Annie didn't look fooled either.

So Shirley continued with, "But that's the whole point isn't it? For three years we've done things that looked wrong and uncomfortable to us, and they usually paid off in the end. With that kind of track record, it's a wonder we don't do _more _stuff that looks wrong and scary. That stuff might look wrong and scary for a reason, but it can turn out special if we try. Like this dinner, and lots of other things, I'm sure."

Shirley tried not to glance too much at Jeff and Annie as she spoke. Yet she glared as much as she could without giving herself away. "Maybe we've….._evolved _enough that we're ready to try that stuff more. It's not like we have a lot of time left! By this time next year, who knows where we'll all be eating turkey! I say we use the time we have, do what we finally want to do, and not care one bit about the consequences! For _this _lifetime anyway."

Shaking off those implications one more time, Shirley finished with, "But until then, let's do what we really want to do in our hearts, because I think we've earned it by now. And it's not worth putting off for one more night." Figuring that was more than enough, Shirley declared, "All right, we've put off eating this dead bird long enough! Let's do it!"

Shirley made sure to eat the big pieces, since she earned it by cooking them, being Jeff and Annie's pimp, and saying "evolved" no matter how much it made Jesus cry. But the food and her friends and family got her through it eventually, and so did the games and typical study group madness that followed. At the least, it made Andre less reluctant to take the kids and go home afterwards.

But soon after they left, the moment of truth was at hand.

Through some thorough analysis, Shirley figured out the best places for Troy, Abed, Britta, Pierce and herself to sleep in Jeff's living room – while leaving no room for Annie. Troy and Abed got a big enough spot in the corner for their games, while Britta could sleep between them and the TV. This would leave her close to Troy, but Shirley could only deal with one pre-marital couple tonight.

Pierce got the recliner, while Shirley took the couch – the last comfy place for Annie to sleep. As such, Jeff had no choice but to let Annie sleep in his room now. He offered to sleep on the floor next to Troy, Abed and Britta, yet took it back after two seconds on his back.

Once he had no choice but to go in the bedroom with Annie, Shirley used her God telepathy for a few quick Hallelujahs, then laid on the couch to go to sleep. She got her headphones on to tune out the others and their protests; and to drown out Jeff and Annie's sex noises later as well. The recorded hymns she listened to drowned out everything as she went into a peaceful, victorious sleep, in spite of Jeff's lumpy couch.

It was around 6:30 a.m. when Shirley woke the next morning. She didn't need to check her watch, since years of mommying and school trained her to wake at 6:30 every day. She turned off her hymns and opened her eyes slowly, then closed them again when she saw Annie tiptoeing around in the kitchen.

Shirley kept her eyes closed as Annie walked around, then quietly closed the bedroom door. Once the coast was clear, Shirley let herself smile, happy that she got Jeff and Annie together in the right way. Sort of.

But if they were more….intelligently designed now, they would be ready to do things 100% right from now on. Between Shirley's speech and their sexy times in bed, what else could they do?

She opened her eyes fully, looking at her sleeping friends who would wake up to defeat soon. But Abed was already up and heading towards her, so maybe Shirley could warm up on him.

"They didn't have sex," Abed whispered before Shirley could start.

"Don't be silly, Abed. Save the sore losing for them," Shirley brushed off.

"You wouldn't let me be in the bet, so I have no reason to lie," Abed pointed out. "And from what I could tell, Annie looked happy and well rested, but not sexually satisfied. And her smile wasn't big enough to suggest Jeff told her he loved her."

Shirley let this bad news wash over her as Abed kept rubbing it in. "I'm sorry, Shirley. It was the best plan in this entire bet, but it wasn't enough. They didn't have sex, and they're not a couple either."

"SERIOUSLY?!" Shirley growled before she knew it. "I gave up my moral high ground for THIS?! Uh uh, I ain't sticking around for that!"

In a flash, Shirley got up, put her headphones in her purse and stormed to the front door, ignoring all those she woke up. She then pointed to the closed bedroom door and declared, "I wash my hands of you! Not even God can smack some sense into you now! And He's got better things to do now anyway, like listen to me beg for forgiveness! If I find a church that isn't packed with Thanksgiving sinners….oh Lord, I gotta go!" she realized as she ran out.

Troy and Britta were groggy and confused after Shirley's rant woke them, while Pierce was nowhere near awake. Jeff and Annie then came out and looked surprised – although they were both relieved that this could distract them.

_After Jeff and Annie changed into their pajamas – away from each other – Jeff reluctantly climbed into the left side of the bed. Annie slowly got into the right side, getting under the covers and making sure she wasn't touching Jeff anywhere. They stayed in that silence for several minutes, but they were nowhere near sleepy._

"_Am I allowed to say goodnight?" Jeff started out._

"_You would know what to say in bed better than me," Annie let out before her nerves could settle down._

"_Not like this," Jeff admitted, leaving him cornered and unable to avoid saying the next part. "I've never just slept with a woman before. And by just slept, I mean-"_

"_I got it, Jeff. I know more about this stuff now, you know. Even though I've never….done it either," Annie confessed._

"_Wait, so Britta and Shirley were lying about the gay boyfriend story?" Jeff wondered._

"_No! They shouldn't have told you, but no!" Annie squeaked a bit, then steeled herself to confess the next part. "I've never slept with a man in bed in my life, Jeff. This is my first time – doing that, I mean!"_

"_Hold on, seriously?" Jeff checked. "Huh. I guess you and Vaughn weren't as close as you looked," he said with barely contained relief._

"_Jeff, we slept together," Annie corrected. "Just not in a bed."_

"_How could you not…" Jeff started, then paused and then tried not to laugh. "You really did sleep in a tent on the grass like hippies, didn't you? I joked to myself that you did that, but….you really did that?"_

"_Well, not in my old neighborhood, we didn't," Annie meekly admitted. "It was romantic at the time! And the grass wasn't that dirty when it wasn't raining!"_

"_God, he was that much of a hippie stereotype?" Jeff exclaimed. "Even Abed couldn't make this up!"_

"_I get it, Jeff, okay?" Annie made him stop. "And yes, I do think 'Wow, I can't believe I dated that guy' sometimes, all right? I've never slept in a bed with a man, but you've never slept with a woman like this either! So we're kind of in the same boat here, but I'm not joking about you!"_

_Once she calmed down, Annie predictably regretted snapping at Jeff – to that extent, at least. She turned on her side to see him and apologize, yet he already looked apologetic. "You're right, you're not. Sorry," Jeff conceded. "You know me, though. Better to joke than to dwell on being…." he stopped right there._

"_Being what? Nervous?" Annie guessed right off the bat._

_When Jeff didn't respond, she continued, "Then I guess one of us has to be the brave one. So don't worry about me, Jeff, I'll be fine. I haven't been in bed with a guy before, but I'm getting better at trying new things. And you can do different things like just sleeping with a woman too." She tentatively placed her hand near his arm and finished, "At least I'm trying this new thing with someone I trust."_

"_You trust me?" Jeff seemed to be surprised at._

_When Annie confirmed it by nodding, Jeff just put his arm out for Annie. Once she took it and smiled, Jeff returned it as well, making them relax for the next several minutes. She snuggled into the covers and was amazed at their softness, which made Jeff brag about them for a while and relax them further._

_Once they were at ease and settled into pleasant conversation, Annie mentioned, "You know, I am actually an expert at talking in bed. At least more than you are."_

"_How does that work if you never had a man in bed? Who did you talk with, your stuffed animals?" Jeff quipped – yet one look at Annie showed that he hit a nerve. "Crap, I got that right?"_

"_It's not like I did it in high school," Annie explained. "Just when I was a pre-teen. By then, my parents stopped being quiet when they fought after bedtime. So to drown them out, I took my stuffed animals under the covers, and I made up imaginary adventures with them before I went to sleep. Plus with my studying schedule, it was the only time I could be playful and creative all day."_

_Annie paused and more sadly concluded, "When that didn't work, I stopped being playful for about the next seven years. But I CAN talk up a storm in bed! I'm just rusty, that's all. At least with things that can't talk back. They can listen, though! At least someone did back then."_

_To her relief, Annie only came close to watering up. Yet Jeff still looked a little down as he said, "I did wonder why you loved stuffed animals so much. Or how you got better at playing with Troy and Abed than I expected. Now I have a few new clues."_

_Annie was content to let it go before it got too depressing. But Jeff continued with, "Plus it explains how you're more well adjusted than me. I never did playful stuff in bed to get through my rough nights. Well, not that kind of playful, anyway. I was proud of that for 20 years or so. But I guess the me who talks to women in bed and writes in journals is another matter."_

"_Writes in journals?" is what Annie took from that. "You actually did that? After the war?" This both changed the depressing subject and made Annie very intrigued._

_But before she could get up, Jeff stated, "Nope, I already moved it before you people got here. It's somewhere you'll never find it."_

"_A refrigerator drawer filled with fatty food?" Annie guessed._

"_No, that was the third place you would have looked," Jeff responded._

"_Damn, I guess that rules out the first and second then," Annie pretended to sulk. "Oh well, I've got time. This isn't my last visit to this apartment."_

"_No, it isn't," Jeff let slip out, halting the banter in its tracks._

_Yet after the latest awkwardness settled down, Annie responded with, "Jeff, I'm not really going to look for your journal. You're finally doing stuff to get through your past, and get to who you really want to be. I would never do anything to meddle in that."_

"_Well, I'd have never done any of that without your earlier meddling. How's that for irony?"Jeff tried to laugh off._

"_I kind of like it," Annie settled on saying. Jeff's smile indicated he liked it too, so Annie let it drop right there._

_For several more minutes, they settled into the kind of comfortable silence that was all too rare in their lives – both when they were alone and with other people. After a while, Annie slowly reached her finger out to touch Jeff's hand, and Jeff wound up gently grasping it._

_Once the rest of their hands touched, Annie found herself getting more comfortable. With that in mind, she wanted to say one more thing before she finally went to sleep._

"_Thank you for having us over today, Jeff. It was the best Thanksgiving the group's ever had. Probably the best I've ever had too," Annie noted. "I don't know how Shirley got you to do this or why, but I'm glad she did."_

"_Well, at least one of us likes how she did it," Jeff commented._

"_I don't know how she did it. I'm just saying I'm glad it ended up like this," Annie corrected._

"_Yeah, that makes it all better for that one of us," Jeff gruffly repeated._

"_Come on, what did she do that was so bad? Did she threaten to sermon you, make you baby sit, call your mom, what?" Annie playfully asked._

"_She brought up something I really don't want to talk about. Let's just leave it at that," Jeff stated, yet quickly saw Annie wouldn't let it go that easy. So he beat her to the punch and continued, "Annie, you usually get me to say and do lots of things I don't want to. I'd rather let this be an exception at the moment. Can we leave it there?"_

_Annie thought for a few moments, then sighed and said, "You're right, you're right, I'm sorry. I mean, I just said a few minutes ago that I don't want to meddle. I should be more consistent."_

_She did look okay with that, yet it still bothered Jeff a bit. So for one of those inexplicable Annie reasons, he kept revealing stuff in spite of getting an out from her._

"_That doesn't mean I wouldn't tell you if I could," he started explaining. "A lot of the time when stuff happens to me, good or bad….you're usually the first person I want to talk about it with. Sometimes you're the only person I want to talk about it with. Even with stuff I don't want to talk about, I wind up hoping I can tell you when I'm ready. Of course, I know I don't usually do it. I'm just saying I want to most of the time."_

"_Why with me?" Annie asked when she was composed enough to say something._

"_I guess that's one of those things I can't talk about yet. And wish that I could," Jeff hoped he saved at the end. To make sure, he added, "But I'm trying. I wouldn't be doing…..a lot of things if I wasn't."_

_Things like sleep with her like he never did with anyone else. That's what Annie tried not to believe Jeff was saying. But Jeff's smile, words, and his hand lightly grazing hers was making it difficult. The old Annie might have tried to make a move after that – when not hyperventilating over where she was. But present day Annie was comforted enough from Jeff already, and from just being here with him after so many setbacks._

_So Annie just used her typical private smile with Jeff to show him it was okay. She then took his hand and laid on her back, content to play with his fingers as the bed felt softer._

"_This really is comfy…." Annie muttered as she smiled with her eyes closed, in a likely exaggerated fashion. But she let the covers, the mattress and the company lull her into sleep at last, while trying to pretend she didn't feel Jeff watching her._

_When she awoke at 6:30 a.m. like usual, Annie didn't find herself cuddled by a sleeping Jeff. Yet she did find Jeff's head lying on her shoulder, snoring and almost drooling a little. It was actually really cute and made her laugh quietly – yet just loud enough to wake him up._

"_Good morning, Jeff," Annie said gently to set him at ease, just in case._

_Although he still looked tired, Jeff muttered, "Morning, Annie." The domestic sound of it nearly made Annie's heart flip._

"_Well, we did it," Annie powered through. "We both really slept with another person for the first time. This is an historic occasion."_

"_Isn't it too early for big words?" Jeff got out slowly._

"_All right, I don't need words," Annie decided. "I'm taking a picture to capture the moment. After I go get my cell phone outside."_

_Jeff just nodded, although he was more focused on putting his head on a pillow. While he was busy, Annie got out of bed and tip toed towards the door, then opened it extra carefully. She made sure everyone was sleeping – and made a note to mention Troy, Britta and Abed's sleeping positions when she got home – then carefully looked for her cell phone._

_When she found it, she quietly went back to the bedroom, closed the door, then turned and saw Jeff falling asleep again. Nevertheless, Annie sat on the bed, set her phone on picture mode and snapped a picture of her and Jeff together – albeit with her smiling and him sound asleep. But the flash awoke Jeff and made him rub his eyes as Annie saw the picture come out perfectly – and adorably – on her phone._

"_There we go. Partial proof that we spent the night together, like a regular couple," Annie declared, then wished she hadn't._

_Of all the things she could have said to break their bubble – which was admittedly already fragile – that was among the top. Or at least it looked that way at this early hour._

"_That's it, isn't it? We can't pretend all this means nothing anymore, can we? At least I can't," Annie realized. "Now we have to talk about things, you'll go back to not talking, and we'll be in that old awkward stage again. The one where we get too weird to even be friends."_

_She sighed and conceded, "Well, we avoided that longer than usual this time. That's got to count for something. But I could be reading too much into it."_

_Annie didn't want to attack Jeff and his patterns like that, and she sounded more resigned than upset. But after years of getting somewhere with him and then hitting a wall, she knew the drill by now and wanted to be prepared this time. Then maybe they could get past the awkwardness and denial – on both sides – in time to take one last shot before graduation._

_But Jeff's face didn't turn indifferent like usual this time. It was probably because it was too early, though. In that case, she couldn't push him into any talks while he wasn't at full strength. If she even wanted to._

_Yet his face still looked as open and vulnerable as it did last night. It was just the morning, though – that had to be it. It had to be._

"_SERIOUSLY?!" Annie and Jeff suddenly heard Shirley yell – a handy distraction if there ever was one. Neither of them knew why she yelled that, but they decided it'd be best to find out. _

_Everything else could wait. It had the practice by now, anyway._


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks to all those who favored and followed along, and the very select few who actually reviewed. Now here's the very end.**

It was way too early for all involved to discuss Shirley's early morning freakout. So they all went back to sleep, got woken up when Andre came to take the kitchen table back, then parted ways for the holiday weekend. But by the time Monday morning came around, Britta, Shirley, Troy, Abed and Pierce were ready to talk – in the halls before they could face Jeff and Annie in the study room.

"I have a confession to make," Shirley began. "It's the only way I can fix my soul before I'm 80! 90, tops! I made Jeff host Thanksgiving dinner so he could….do things with Annie that night. In a romantic bed way, mind you! Not that their souls had the strength or plain old guts to do anything," she grumbled.

"Apology accepted," Pierce strangely said. "New topic. Magic Mike DVD night! That's a thing we can do, right? Even if Jeff and Annie are the only ones?"

"Oh, stop it!" Britta asked. "It's clear we all failed to win the bet already! We can't just change our picks now because we lost!" She paused and added, "Besides, there's no way they'd get away with sex on the quad."

"Damn it, my brain got that idea in brain rehab too!" Troy groaned. "Either great minds think alike, or mine just cheated off of yours! I'm going to say it's the first one….for _now_," he said as a warning before sharing a smile with Britta.

"Say whatever you want, I'm done," Shirley promised. "This whole thing was a mistake! We bet on them having sex, when the real important thing was them getting together the right way! Not that we got them to do _any _of that…..the cowards," she grumbled again.

"Yeah, we screwed up, didn't we?" Troy questioned. "We all thought it was inevitable they'd hook up, right? Maybe we made them lose their inevitability-ness! The bet was they'd be in love and _then _have sex, and now they might not even do love stuff! That sucks worse than them not having sex! At least in the really dull positions."

"Yep, we suck all right," Shirley agreed. "And now I'll be stuck in Hell with the rest of you because of it. You guys and Anderson Cooper better help me pass the time down there! At least I know I can count on Anderson."

Britta didn't even have the energy or spark to stick up for Anderson Cooper – none of them did. So they went down the halls, hoping they could face Jeff and Annie, their own failure, and the memories of what 400 dollars could buy.

Yet their disappointment was drowned out by noises after a while. They got a bit louder over time – and then suddenly, there were two really loud noises at the same time. One of them – the more masculine sounding one – actually sounded louder than the other high pitched sound.

And both of them seemed to be coming from the nearby billiards room.

"Oh my God! It sounds like they got hit in bad places by pool balls!" Shirley called, ignoring the dirty implications. What's more, she then cheered, "Yes! I nurse them back to health, I can get 80 years shaved off my Hell sentence! So long, suckers!" She ran over to the door of the billiards room, just as the two noises cried out louder than ever.

Seconds later, everyone heard more panicked and embarrassed screaming, along with a bunch of "Oh Lords" over and over. Britta, Troy and Pierce then ran in while Abed stayed behind, avoiding the sight of Jeff and Annie covering up after their 'first time' in the billiards room.

After a few minutes, the rest of the group came back, freaking out in their own in character ways. They were eventually followed by a fully dressed Jeff and Annie, who were more embarrassed and mad in their own in character ways. So Abed stayed quiet, knowing he had a few minutes before his cue.

Britta ultimately asked what the hell happened, and Jeff and Annie exchanged nervous looks before Annie took a deep breath to explain. Of course, what she said was a surprise to everyone but Abed.

_Annie didn't plan ahead to go into the billiards room, which was remarkable for her. She just wanted to find a place where no one would think to look for her. Then she'd have some last minute peace before she was ready to face Jeff today._

_Of course, she overlooked the ugly truth that Jeff loved pool._

"_Jeff!" Annie squeaked once she saw him at one of the pool tables. "What, uh, what are you doing here?"_

"_I asked you first," Jeff incorrectly answered. "Well, asking you second should count for something. Right?" he tried to save as he put his pool cue down._

"_I don't know, you know pool better than I do," was all Annie had. "I just wanted some quiet for a while. But you had dibs, so I'll clear out of here," she offered, wondering if the storage closet had been cleared of Changlorious Bastards booby traps yet._

"_Annie, wait!" Jeff called out. Once Annie made herself turn around, he continued, "I won't be much longer in here. I'm just playing pool to clear my head and get ready for today. But I guess now I'm as ready as I'll ever be."_

"_To do what?" Annie tried to ask with as little visible hope as possible._

"_Annie, you're right. I don't want to talk about certain things. I'm all talked out already," Jeff had the nerve to say._

_Before Annie could attack him, he went on with, "I've talked to myself about that stuff for three years now. And my conscience has gotten off life support to nag my ass off too. That bastard really doesn't want to go back into a coma! But between my debates with them, and how our recent adventures have answered all my other concerns there's not much left for me to say. I figured that much out after this weekend."_

"_What do you have left to say, then?" Annie dared to inquire, her voice staying firm with considerable effort._

"_Let's see, what do I have?" Jeff comically asked, which didn't help Annie out with her nerves. "Like I said, I don't have much. It's mostly stuff about how I don't want us to be weird or awkward anymore. And that I never want to be too cowardly to be around you again. Oh, and the matter of me wanting to be a regular couple with you. That includes sleeping and talking with you in bed, telling you things first, letting you meddle in my life and make it better than you already do. You know, things like that."_

_Despite how lightly he rattled off those confessions, Jeff took a few deep breaths when he finished. When he was composed again, he finished, "That's all I've got, really. How about you?" Yet Annie not only had nothing back for him, she couldn't even move a muscle._

"_Annie?" Jeff checked again, but she still stayed silent. "If this is you paying me back for not saying this earlier, I guess I get it. Could you confirm it with words?" But still nothing. "What, do I have to say more? I spent all weekend coming up with that! Do I have to use the sappy version I deleted too? Yeah, I wrote one! And if I have to say it for you, I guess I'll-"_

_Jeff finally shut up for real once Annie went over and kissed him. It was the first impulse she had, and the first time in two years she felt safe to act on that desire. But when she remembered how that turned out before, she broke away and voiced one final concern._

"_Do we need to be discreet now?" she tried to ask calmly._

"_Never again," Jeff immediately answered – eliminating any calm in both of them._

_With that, the floodgates opened as both of them put their lips, tongues and hands on anything they could reach. Naturally, Jeff did it better at first, yet instead of overwhelming Annie, it made her up her game. Soon, Jeff was moaning into her mouth even more than Annie was moaning into his – especially when she got under his shirt first._

_Annie was just riding on impulse, as rare as that was, and she wanted to take advantage. That was her only thought, as even rarer as that was. As such, when Jeff picked up her and had her sit on the pool table, then started to unbutton her cardigan, she didn't have enough thought left to object. In fact, when she did think about Jeff exposing her body – and how in awe he looked of it – she turned off her brain for once and started unbuttoning him as well._

_She didn't question why Jeff had a condom available at that moment. She barely even paid attention when Jeff said he dreamed about this all Thanksgiving night – and all weekend, and for much of the last year or two. She just –_

"Okay, you probably know the rest," present day Jeff interrupted. Present day Annie managed to get her composure back, and faced her friends without blushing too heavily.

"Wait, who bet on them having pool room sex again?" Pierce asked.

"No one did, Pierce!" Troy reminded. "We had a sex _pool_ and no one thought to bet on _pool room_ sex! The only reason my brain's off the hook for that is because it's so funny!"

"You had WHAT?!" Annie yelled, which at least made her feel _something_ other than embarrassed.

"Oh Lord, oh Lord," Shirley repeated two more times. "I'm already damned enough, I can't pile it on by _defending _our sex bet! You people are on your own!"

"To be fair, we bet _on_ you guys getting together! We were on your side!" Britta tried to defend. "We just wondered where you'd _do_ it after you did it, that's all."

"Why does that make sense?" Jeff asked. "For that matter, why do things like Pierce sending us to the Dean's office, Troy putting us in a broom closet…..and Britta bringing up our study room sex make sense now? Seriously, explain that to me!" he said with more anger.

Any actual explanations were drowned out by yelling, arguing and more left over embarrassment from Annie and Shirley. But among the noise, some of them could hear Abed counting down from 10.

"Five, four, three, two, one and now!" Abed called out, which made everyone finally get quiet. "Good, you've had your allotted incoherent yelling time now. With that, we can finally move onto the closing twist."

"Does this look like the time for an outdated dance, Abed?!" Pierce complained.

This did help everyone focus on Abed more, as he pulled out his cell phone and showed the others that he was loading up a video. When it started, it showed Abed sitting all alone in the study room, with his laptop and a newspaper nearby.

"Greetings from the slightly distant past. No more than three weeks ago is my best guess," Abed accurately stated. "If you're watching this, then you've just walked into Jeff and Annie having sex for the first time. And it wasn't in a broom closet like Troy guessed, or the Dean's office like Pierce thought, or here on the study table as Britta predicted, or in a bed like Shirley hoped for. As much as you'll all try to make that happen, it obviously didn't work if you're watching this video."

Abed turned his phone towards the laptop and focused on the date listed on the bottom right. He then turned it to the newspaper as well. "This confirms I'm filming on the day you made the bet," Abed reinforced. "As such, it confirms I knew Jeff and Annie would have their first time in the billiards room from the start. It was the first place where Annie saw Jeff naked, so it makes sense that it's the first place she'd see him naked as a couple. If you're watching this video, that's exactly what happened."

Britta, Troy and Shirley groaned at Abed being right and at getting it so wrong. But Pierce reflected, "Right, a pool room has balls! _Of course_ that would get Jeff going! Why the _hell_ didn't I think of that?!"

"You know what, maybe I will shove balls into things now!" Jeff called out. "Maybe then you'll think twice the next time you _bet _on me and Annie! Or at least think twice the next time you manipulate us into having sex!"

"_That's _what you're going with now? They _tricked_ you into having sex with me?!" Annie objected, her anger at Jeff now catching up to her anger at the group.

"Jeff, Annie, Pierce, please," Abed actually said in the phone video. Once they were startled by Abed seeing the future that accurately, they all shut up and kept watching Abed's phone.

"Now then, although Jeff and Annie may be upset about what the group did, and the group may be upset that they all lost, they shouldn't be," Abed continued. "You were right to keep me from taking part in the bet. If I had given the climax away, none of this would have happened and I _would_ have stopped you all from getting Jeff and Annie together. Just not in the way you planned."

"Your goal is for them to start their relationship and have sex, but you focused more on them having sex instead. Yet through all your tricks, you'll set the stage for them to work through their last remaining issues, and see that they're ready to work as a real couple. Although your plans for them to make love completely and utterly fail, you'll all play a part in them being ready to _be_ in love instead. And express that love against a pool table," Abed guessed correctly.

As the truth of Abed's future telling sunk in, the past Abed kept going with, "So in that regard, all of you have now won the bet. Everything that Troy, Pierce, Britta and Shirley are about to do will bring Jeff and Annie together, both with and without their clothes on. Therefore, you are all winners – and you don't even have to lose any money now. It may be a bit sentimental, but I can't completely blame Season Four for it this time. At least the sentiment and happy endings for all have been eaarrnnneedd!" he finished in his spooky Halloween voice.

Yet he resumed in his normal emotionless voice with, "Hopefully that callback balances out the sappier epilogue ahead. Future Abed, turn me off and let them wrap it up. I'd end with an Inspector Spacetime time travel joke, but I have to find Troy before Jeff and Annie fail to have broom closet sex. End flashback….now!"

With that, the video clip ended and the present day study group was left to take it all in. Finally, present day Annie said, "He's right. Past Abed is absolutely right."

"Don't you mean _when_ Abed is absolutely right?" Troy interjected. When no one responded, he backtracked, "Oops, mixed up my Inspector Spacetime time jokes."

"Anyway, Abed is right in both times!" Annie resumed. "If you guys hadn't tricked us into all that time together, we wouldn't be here! We wouldn't have proved we can see each other for who we _really_ are," she said while pointing to Troy. "We wouldn't have remembered that we'll _always_ be there for each other, even after we graduate," she gestured at Pierce. "We wouldn't have remembered that the past doesn't matter, as long as we want to make it better," she signaled at Britta. "And we wouldn't have seen that we can be a regular couple after all," she pointed to Shirley.

Annie addressed the rest of the group altogether with, "We solved all those issues because you gave us the chance! That's why we couldn't keep our hands off each other anymore today! Each one of you really did help bring us together!"

But after saying that, Annie suddenly got nervous and looked at Jeff. "Not that I'm saying we're together now! It's way too early to put labels on this, or bring up things that may not be there in front of everyone! I know that!"

Jeff then sighed and concluded, "You never should have had to know it that well. But you won't have to again." To drive it home, he dared to put his arm around Annie in front of the group.

"You know, I should be _furious_ at all of you!" Jeff restarted. "Being afraid of what you thought kept me from doing this much earlier! Well, that was just _one _reason, but still! Now you're not only okay with us, you got us together! You should have tried to make money off us years ago!"

"So you _are _together now? Even when she's not naked?" Shirley asked.

"That's what I was hoping for," Jeff assured. One relieved, blinding smile from Annie assured Jeff that his hopes were rewarded. But before they slipped into one of their long looks, Shirley came up and hugged them both as tight as she could.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you, oh glorious day!" Shirley said, using the last words Jeff and Annie ever imagined from her at this moment. "I've done good after all, we've all done good! I might salvage a trip to Heaven yet! Maybe one or two of you might too, who knows?"

"Yeah, I've earned a trip to my much better Heaven after this!" Pierce announced. "I mean, they got closer in the Dean's office than anywhere! You could say I really won the bet because of that!"

"Uh, no we couldn't," Britta objected. "They needed to fix their past _way _more, and they did it in the study room! So I came closest to winning the bet here – not that it matters!" she corrected. But then she added, "Plus I kind of had a few moments with Troy afterward. That should get me extra points somewhere."

"Wait a minute, if you get those, I get them too! It should be in our couple's pre-nup or something!" Troy stated. "Besides, if my brain was working right back then, it would have guessed they'd do it in the pool room too! And I was the first one to try anything, so that means I won even more! And Abed's my best friend and he got it right, so now you guys aren't even close! It's embarrassing how higher up my brain is now!"

"Screw you, they screwed because they gayed it up in the Dean's closet! It just took longer than I thought! And I lost a friend because of it….I think it was Magnitude or someone like that! So give me my 400 bucks!" Pierce demanded.

"Stop it, all of you!" Shirley insisted. "The important thing is that we made them happy, and made them ready for each other! That's the best thing that came out of this, not money or winning bets or anything."

The group looked appropriately shamed – yet Shirley still went on with, "Plus they didn't sleep together like a real couple in _your_ plans. And mine was kind of the last straw before they did it for real, so…."

"Wow, you got back into Heaven _and _redefined pimping, good for you!" Britta snarked.

"You would know, you….study room night lady! Now where's my money?!" Shirley snapped.

Britta, Shirley, Troy and Pierce couldn't be stopped now, as they argued over who did more to get Jeff and Annie together – and who should win the bet they all already lost. Jeff, Annie and Abed just watched quietly, until Annie added, "Okay! Well, me and Jeff will be at the study room when you're all done…."

"Oh no, it's _way _too late for study room sex _now_, Edison!" Britta called out. "Unless….200 bucks on the study room for their _second_ time! Thanks guys, I owe you a 5 percent cut for this!"

"Pool room, I got pool room _this time_! Now you'll _all_ bow to Troy's brain!" Troy cheered.

"Britta, stop pretending your boyfriend's a girl and shut him down!" Pierce demanded, which sent them all into incoherent arguing again.

"All right. You all go do that," Jeff conceded, leading Annie away while their arguing friends were distracted. But Abed still noticed them shaking their heads in disbelief, smiling over their friends' insanity – and then taking each other's hands before they got too far away.

"An overdue happy ending, and a comical argument to make it ironic. Maybe there's still something special left for Season Four after all," Abed expressed relief, standing in the middle as the new couple walked away on his left, and the friends who finally got them together kept screaming on his right.

**THE END**


End file.
